St. Paul, Day Three

I went to work, got coffee with Theo and Kelly, Zane went swimming, and we visited friends today. All without getting into the car. It would have been a day without any driving except we realized at 7:05 PM that the St. Paul Corner Drug Store stopped serving phosphates and sundaes at 7:15.

St. Paul, Second Day

Tonight I sat outside with my friend who stopped by -- the weather is perfect today -- and watched my boys play with all the other children on the block (20 under the age of 8.) Zane and a girl were organizing a marble game in front of the church entrance and the littler boys were all on some form of conveyance -- tricycles or scooters -- making a loop around the garden at the far entrance. A mixture of moms and dads watch over them, monitoring street crossings and the frequent spills. Then the adults decided it was time and scooted all the kids off to baths.

We've received a cake, banana bread and cookies and have met maybe half people on the block so far. I have a bench swing I'd planned to put in the back yard but clearly it belongs in the front where all the people are.

Oh, the house is pretty nice too.

Graciously Spacious

We went from this -- Theo running yarn around the house, as if trying to tie down the chaos of packing...








to this....








and this...











to this....









and this.

Kelly and I are camping out in the empty house tonight with a couple of cots and camp chairs (mine has a footrest -- the best thing in the world tonight) and laptops.

It is amazing how spacious an empty house is, how gently it holds its memories, how graciously it offers hope.

No more sorting

I woke up this morning thinking, "I'm a little behind schedule but it should be okay." Then Mayflower called.
"Can you be ready to move tomorrow? We'll already be in Duluth."
"Uuuuuuuh, sure."
The race is on.

Expertise Meme: the 5 questions

Okay, Ironic1 tagged me to do this.

The purpose of this meme is to get people talking about their passion in life. It’s called the 5/5 meme. Five questions, then pass it to five people. "Expertise" could be your profession, hobby, or area of intense interest.

Name your area of expertise/interest:
Christian spiritual disciplines, especially Centering Prayer and the Wesleyan understanding of disciplines as practiced in Covenant Discipleship.

How did you become interested in it?
God came and knocked me on the head one day and I had to go figure out what that meant.

How did you learn to do it?
Trial and error, spiritual director, lots of books, lots of searching. I read a lot of Zen until I discovered Christian meditation. I also finally figured out that the United Methodist heritage had a great tool for ordering and balancing spiritual disciplines through Covenant Discipleship. An accountability/CD group for the last two years has been a great support to me -- I had to report each week how I was doing.

Who has been your biggest influence?
Father Thomas Keating. The first time I heard him Kelly leaned over and said, "He is talking to you." He has revived Christian meditation and is teaching a practice that makes so much sense to me. He's one of those men that, when you are in the room with him you think, "I want some of what he's got." Almost holy.

What would you teach people about it?
Just do it. Sit down and be quiet. Make time for it. Search out people who are trying. There's a whole world of silence waiting for our attention.

Household Weight Loss

I called John of Mayflower this morning.
"Hi, this is Michelle. You're moving us Monday. I filled out my form and forgot to mail it in."
Laughter. "That's fine. We moved you before; I know how much stuff you have. Over 14,000 pounds last time."
"Yeah. Well, we have one more person in our family now, but we got rid of the antique safe and a dumpster full a few months ago."
"You'll be fine. See you Monday."

Mayflower moves the United Methodist clergy in Minnesota. They moved me to Winona in 1991, to St. Paul in 1997, to Duluth in 2003. They do know how much stuff I have. I've heard through the grapevine that I'll have the same crewleader Monday as I did 4 years ago. Weird that we move so often and with the same company, developing a relationship with the office and crew.

But we have tried to lighten the load. We were overweight last time at 14,700 pounds and a Conference-will-pay-for-it limit of 13,000. The Conference has raised the limit to 14,000, but still...

So today has been another day of Getting Rid of Stuff.
*51 pounds of food to CHUM's foodshelf
*electronics to CHUM's Lifecyclers for recycling
*a van full to Goodwill
*3 garbage cans and 15 bags of garbage for the garbageman
*a sidewalk full of recycling. I ran up with ten years of magazines in my arms just as they were finished and the guy laughed and showed me were to dump them.

Last time we moved I was 8 months pregnant and couldn't do much packing. So 20 people descended upon the house and packed it for me, which was a wonderful, wonderful gift. I have turned down all offers of help to pack this time for one clear reason: I need to sort my stuff! I would have the whole house packed by now if I was just putting things in boxes. But this is how packing goes:

Pick up item.
Decide how to classify item: recycling, garbage, Goodwill, keep.
Then put in appropriate container.
That is what takes time. But I also hope it gets us under that 14,000 pound limit.

I won't even try to write about the mental weight of having too much stuff. But I always hope I can remember when I am settled, adding new things to my space. I've asked forgiveness a lot today, and I probably won't be stopping soon.

Packing Tools

The hard part, of course, is keeping track of each piece.
"Honey, did you steal my tape?"
"Where's my knife?"
"Who took my pen?"
"Where did I put my iced tea?"
Luckily, I found some pants in my closet with a perfect Ipod Nano pocket.

More Favorite Scenes, Canal Park

The Bridge, of course. With Theo.






"Castle Bridge," Theo calls this one.









The Two Towers. Not home to evil wizards, I don't believe.









And the various water effects, as if the lake wasn't enough.

Favorite Scenes in Duluth, Morning Walks

All these photos are taken within six blocks of my current home in Duluth. The quality of the photos isn't fantastic -- too much moisture in the air or too bright a sun -- but this is what Duncan and I look at while we round the neighborhood.


The stairs to Holy Rosary.





A curious tree on a nearby street. I thought it would look better in the fog, but alas.






There is a canyon of sorts two blocks away, where Tischer Creek runs down to the Congdon property. It is full of bridges and waterfalls. Amazing. Also, this morning, full of mosquitoes and runners. The mosquitoes make me nervous; the runners alarm the anxious dog.







This is the best waterfall. I can hear it from my house when it has rained.








Holy Rosary Hill has a gorgeous view of the lake, which you can't see here at all! And they put in a labyrinth last year. It very much confuses the dog when we do it in the morning. And sometimes Kelly and I walk around it while the kids play on the nearby playground. Not the most holy prayer practice, but if you can't pray in front of the world's largest lake with kids playing nearby and a faithful dog following you even though he thinks you have lost your mind, then when could you?

I Like It

Theo has a new phrase -- "I like it." This is the first week he has expressed his favorable opinions in words, and he apparently likes a lot of things. We went to the Fairmount Ave parsonage today to facilitate delivery of an antique dining room table and chairs so we had a chance to show the boys their rooms again. "I like it," Theo said. Then we went next door to the church so I could give Sharon the newsletter article. He saw the sanctuary, the stained glass window of Jesus I think, and ran in and said, "Church! I like it."

We walked to the St. Clair Broiler for lunch and when he saw the flames above the door he said, "Fire. I like it." He got chocolate milk, "I like it." But then the chicken strips were too hot, and then the sauce got on the potato chips, and suddenly he didn't like anything. We escaped to the toy store down the street for the remainder of lunch. "Thomas. I like it." But by then Zane was ready to not like anything and everyone, pretty much the whole family, had a meltdown before we left.

We like it. But we've got four days to get this entire household into a box and two boys to mentally prepare for a new home and a city to say goodbye to and...we may not like too much these next few days. But hopefully Theo's newfound verbal assent will hold; it is quite charming.

Sweet Goodbye

Sunday was my last Sunday at Hope. I've been here a wonderful four years, and we've accomplished so much in that time. It was a very sweet goodbye.







Barb and her task force decorated the sanctuary. Last fall we had created a runner with large footprints (mine but representing Jesus) surrounded by children's feet going up to the front of the sanctuary. I thought at the time, "What a lot of work for one Sunday." But they brought it out for my last day. The spot I stand on to preach had a circle with the words, "You are surrounded by love and prayers." Traced feet of the congregation surrounded the circle. I preached barefoot on the spot with my footprints in the center of all those other footprints.

The choir sang a few gorgeous songs, punctuated by crying, and Bob played the clarinet. He knows I appreciate a good clarinet solo!

Sally and Bob led the congregation in a leaving litany. I asked for forgiveness -- that was a nice bit, I thought -- and released the congregation from my pastoral care.

I hugged most everyone in church, sometimes twice. Even the visitors got in on it.


We had a real potluck afterwards, with no organizing who brings salads etc, and sang Johnny Appleseed for grace, my favorite grace. The congregation (Sally is representing them here) gave me a photo of stones on the shore of Lake Superior. I had just preached about living stones and will be using a similar theme my first Sunday at Fairmount Avenue in two weeks. The photo is perfect.

It was hard to say the last goodbyes, the last hugs, the last walking out the door of my office. But it has been a wonderful four years, it was a wonderful goodbye -- the best goodbye I have ever managed, and my heart feels blessed and light.

Grandma's Marathon Mile 15

Zane and I worked the Mile 15 waterstation this morning with a bunch of folks from Hope. It was, as every time we've done it, an incredibly beautiful morning on Lake Superior. I think it was pretty warm for the runners again this year, one of the warmest days we've had yet this year. We got there around 5:30 in the morning to get ready.










This was my crew, handing out Ultima on the lakeside of Mile 15 (or Mile 2 for the half.)





Mmmm, Ultima. I didn't end up wearing as much of it as I expected. We served the half marathon first. I saw Greg and Mary B and Darin, but never did find Lisa.






Here was the first wheelchair racer going through.












Here was the first male runner through at Mile 15.








And the first woman.








After awhile it is a mass of bodies, for about two hours.








Zane loves to work the waterstation. He handed out 399 cups of Ultima, he said.

I thought it was a crazy thing to do, my last weekend of working at Hope. I have my last service tomorrow morning, I haven't finished packing my office, I'm not sure what the second half of my sermon is going to be. But it was a perfect way to end my time in Duluth: a beautiful morning by The Lake, working with the Ripples crew from church, watching the thousands of people pushing their bodies and spirits to new limits along with the thousands of volunteers cheering them on. You can't imagine the feeling of handing a drink to a sweaty person who just ran 15 miles and who is looking at the next 11, and then they look at you and say, "Thank you." The marathon is Duluth at its best, and I got to enjoy it one more time.

Goodbye Party #s 2 and 3

Tuesday night was Covenant Discipleship, the last time the original seven of us would be together for our group. We met down at Mary's dock, dragonflies hovering around us. Then we had dinner and exchanged gifts. The group gave me a stole with a lime green backing (my favorite) and dragonflies on the front. I think we all cried. It isn't easy to leave my Covenant group -- we pray for each other every week and share our spiritual work with one another. It was a beautiful and bittersweet goodbye.

Thursday evening I met with my Blandin Community Leadership Program cohort. They graciously met at the Brewhouse to say goodbye to me. We spent a week together last year and several days since studying leadership and the issues of Duluth. There was a lot of -- "we thought we'd spend more time together" conversations amidst the talk of Duluth politics and news of Grandma's and the Juneteenth celebrations this weekend. They gave me a Duluth pack bag to remember them by.

It's lovely to be with everyone and say the things that should be said, but really hard to leave.

Goodbye Party #1

We had a going away party for Zane and Theo today. About 25 people of many ages came to play for a few hours at the Bayfront playground. It was hot and windy, the first day like this in forever.

So we served ice cream cake. But in our chaotic preparations we forgot a knife. Kelly found a few tiny plastic things but they wouldn't penetrate the deeply frozen chocolate layers. So one neighbor brought out his lifesaver knife -- the kind of thing you use for cutting through the seatbelt if you need to. I plunged it into the cake and served up ragged pieces. Kelly and another resourceful parent took fishing wire to the other cake, trying to cut it apart.

Eventually everyone had cake, rich and melty. It got quiet for a few minutes, and then we made a weak attempt to wipe down all the kids, and then they went to play for another hour. It was great fun and everyone left dirty, exhausted, and only halfways crying.

Zane made many friends here; Theo tags along. It is hard to imagine a more perfect neighborhood for him, or more charming girls to chase him and blow kisses at him while he and the boys run screaming. But I keep making friends my whole life, and I suspect that ages 7 and 3 they will do fine.

Still, it is another hard day. Everyone needs a bath and a hug tonight.

Summer Vacation

7:53 a.m., first day of summer vacation.
Zane said, "I'm bored."

Ideas to counteract boredom for the 7 year old set, anyone?

Standing in for the goodbyes

Oh, the goodbyes. Packing is hard: it is hard to face all of my stuff, organize it into boxes, get rid of the things I don't need, and worry about the things I won't be able to find for awhile. It is had to put every single thing in my life into a box. The good thing is I get to remember each little thing: how I got it, who gave it to me, what I've done with it, the memories attached to it. But still, I have accumulated a lot of things in 42 years.

But the goodbyes are enough to make me think I should quit moving every few years. Everyone has been so lovely, and some people have been downright surprising. At times in my life I left really fast, so fast I was gone before anyone even noticed I was packing, but now I am trying to carefully say goodbye, to listen graciously to each goodbye offered, to accept the blessings people are giving me.

Tonight at the CHUM Board meeting (I am really going to miss CHUM) the board member assigned to do devotions spoke about transitions, the fear of leaving something familiar but the growth that comes with taking the next step. It was a lovely bit of grace, his sharing this with us all, especially for me tonight.

But what really got me was a few days ago when the almost 102-year-old woman said, gripping my hand in hers, "You come back and visit us now, you hear?"

Boxes

Okay, okay. About one hundred clergy (maybe only fifty) asked me last week if I had started packing and then made this shocked face when I said, "No." I suppose these people know exactly how long it takes to pack up one's household and one's books, because we do it so often. So I came home and packed four boxes yesterday.

There.

Parsonage Charms

Parsonage living is an odd thing, one my family will get to know more intimately as we move from one parsonage a mile from the church to another parsonage next door to the next church (surrounded by the church, actually.) But today the boys have enjoyed one of the aspects, or charms, of parsonage living.

In the ordination line Thursday night a previous resident of this parsonage said, "Have you found the box of Transformer toys in the attic yet?" No, we hadn't opened that in-the-ceiling door to the attic. But this afternoon we did and found a large box of Transformer toys from 1992 or thereabouts. If you don't have little boys you won't understand, but early Transformer toys are very cool. Zane immediately recognized most of them. They have provided a delightful rainy afternoon of fun.

Last Details from Annual Conference 2007

The Bishop instituted a rule that every time a cell phone rang, its owner was to give $5. At 11:30 on the last day suddenly everybody's phone went off, in the middle of a pension discussion. Then everyone was up and marching to the front to drop money into a basket, singing "We are Marching in the Light of God". Over $2,000 was raised.

We voted to move to five districts (without nearly as much arguing as I expected), agreed to change our apportionment formula (again, a bit of a surprise, although most church's amounts go down), argued at length about if and in what manner we should learn Spanish and how to respond to immigration issues in our communities. We voted to extend health coverage to partners of lay employee who are using our plan, although then we voted to send that decision to Judicial Council. We elected our delegations to General and Jurisdictional Conferences too.

Still, the discussion got lengthy at points, so doodling and caffeine got us through (not my doodling, or Diet Coke -- I don't drink the stuff but my friends always fill the fridge with it.) Exhausted, we all started home at 3 pm, books closed on another Annual Conference.

Ordination 2007

One of my favorite parts of Annual Conference is ordination. I especially love the half-hour beforehand when all the clergy line up in the hallway. We all put on our red stoles (for Pentecost) and remember our own ordination, catch up with one another, share hugs and laughs as we prepare for this solemn event which becomes for most of us, I believe, a re- commitment for another year of ministry. (Thanks, Mary, for this photo.)



Deb and I have matching stoles because we were ordained Elders together in 1993. Each year Tildy Ellis designs stoles for each class of ordinands with fabric from some part of the world. She has done this since 1975, and most of us wear these stoles at ordination, admiring one another's and remembering who was ordained with us.









Jeanne Audrey is the senior clergywoman in our Conference. I met her in 1989 at a friend's ordination when I wasn't sure if I was going to finish seminary or not. I signed up the next week.






Ordination was wonderful. The Bishop preached and inspired us all again. Centennial UMC provided music (my last church) and it was stunning.

It was a blue moon last night, the night of ordination. It was beautiful. Blessings to all those ordained this year, those recommitted and revived, and those called anew.